Your Vow Guide : Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

Have you and your partner considered writing your own vows? While the process can feel a little overwhelming, it’s so incredibly worth it to add personal touches to your ceremony. Your relationship with your partner is one of a kind, so it makes sense that your vows reflect that. It is such an intimate experience to bare your heart to the love of your life through your vows to one another. But we totally understand that writing your own vows can seem daunting, so I’ve put together some tips to help you out. 

Make a List of Your Favorite Traits and Fondest Memories

Since it can be tough to know where to start when writing your personalized vows, begin by creating 2 simple lists. 

For your first list, write down your favorite traits about your partner. This can be anything to do with their personality, including any quirky details that you adore. Think about what you love most about your partner and what it is about them that makes you fall more in love with them every single day.

For the second list, take a little trip down memory lane. What are some of your favorite memories from the trips and vacations you’ve taken together? Do you have any fun memories of simpler times where you’ve just been at home, in the car, or at your favorite local spot that really stand out to you? Your vows are the perfect opportunity to remember some of your most beloved memories and adventures you’ve shared together during your relationship. 

Once you’ve written your lists, don’t look at them again for a day or two. Come back to them with a fresh mind and edit down your options until you’ve narrowed it down to the ones that are the most meaningful to you.

Find Some Inspiration

When it comes to writing your vows, there’s a good chance you haven’t had a ton of practice. Do some quick research and take a look at a handful of personalized wedding vows. Save your favorites and refer to them when you decide to start writing yours. Having something to refer to can really help you to determine how you want to express yourself. You might not even know what style you want to write in. Some couples choose to keep their vows more playful and lighthearted where others might lean into something more serious and romantic. There’s no wrong answer, but it’s always a good idea to be on the same page with your partner.

Use a Writing Template

There’s no wrong way to speak from the heart, but you also don’t want your vows to read like a grocery list either. Having a writing template will help you with proper pacing and flow, so you don’t get carried away. Don’t forget, there’s a good chance you might cry during this heartfelt exchange, and it can definitely be a struggle to get through your lengthy vows if you’re trying to read through your tears.

You don’t need to follow this outline to a tee, but it is a great start:

Start with “I love you.” At the end of the day, those three little words are what the entire celebration is about. 

Share how you met or a story about your first date. This is a fun way to transition into your vows and can be sweet to share with guests that don’t know your story.

Mention your favorite things about them. Transitioning from your first date into the reasons why you fell in love with them and continue to fall in love with them will make your partner feel so special. There might even be things you adore about them or little things that they do that they don’t even know about.

Let them know that you’ll be there through it all. No marriage is perfect, no matter how much we’d like them to be. What’s important is that you’ll go through the highs and lows together and continue to grow stronger as a couple.

Make your commitments. Vows aren’t just for sharing your sweet anecdotes; they’re also about the promises you’re making to each other. Even though you’re making a serious commitment, your promises don’t need to be super heavy. You can vow to support them and be by their side until you’re old and grey. You can also promise to always clean the hair out of the shower. 

Get excited for the journey ahead. This day is a celebration of the journey you’re going to embark on together. Share how excited you are to go down this new path with the love of your life and how grateful you are to be starting it among your closest family and friends.

Edit, Practice, and Share

You don’t need to write the perfect vows on your very first try. You can always edit them and even get feedback from a trusted friend. If you’re feeling a little nervous, practice your vows out loud. You don’t need to memorize them, but you’ll feel more confident reading them if you’ve really familiarized yourself with the words you’ve written. Practice in the mirror or with a friend or family member that you trust to give you some solid feedback. There’s a good chance you’ll both tear up. 

Be Genuin

Write from the heart, and your words will flow naturally. You don’t need to be a poet to write vows that express how you truly feel about your partner. Remember that your vows are simply a beautiful way to solidify your commitment to each other in front of those who love and support you.

Hi, I’m Liz, I specialize in Pennsylvania elopement photography and planning. I help couples create a day that’s intentional and stress-free by offering a supportive, knowledgeable and kind experience that includes vendor and location research, planning resources and custom timeline curation, ensuring couples get beautiful photos while having an incredible time!

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